A Broken … Soul
17 Deal bountifully with thy servant, that I may live, and keep thy word.
18 Open thou mine eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law.
19 I am a stranger in the earth: hide not thy commandments from me.
20 My soul breaketh for the longing that it hath unto thy judgments at all times. Ps. 119-17-20
As I’ve probably mentioned before (maybe?), this is one of the Bible verse passages that I pray each morning before reading the Bible. I find that the verses help to hit sort of a reset button in my life for the new day. They are all prayers offered to God acknowledging His needed help to live life for His glory.
I don’t know how or why this happens, but at times certain parts of a verse draw me to it. This past week it was “my soul breaketh.”
The Psalmist wants to live so that he can live out God’s Word in his daily life. In order for that to happen, God is needed to open his otherwise shielded eyes to see the great truths in His Torah. But, no sooner does he get that out of his mouth when all of a sudden he is struck anew with the awareness that he doesn’t belong here in the earth. He’s a stranger.
The interesting thing is that his “blindness” is clouding over his ability to comprehend the very commandments he’s reading. It’s like it’s right there in front of him beckoning him to greater awareness and yet … it seems just out of reach, hidden.
This in turn creates a longing within him. Is this the first time he has sensed this? Is this the first time he’s brought this particular need to God? Or, has he had this conversation with God multiple times before? I know I have.
So what is he longing for? In my words: he is wanting God to set it all straight, all right, all like it should be, like he knows God Himself wants it to be.
As he acknowledges his servitude to God and His Law, he expresses his inner most longings for two things:
Eyes to see the commandments of God’s Law
To finally be at home in the place and time in which God’s “judgements at all times” will one day be the rule.
In this section of Scripture, we see the catalyst which enables the Psalmist to finally see and express his need for a broken soul. It is that sick inner feeling of not … feeling at home in this world, being fully aware that he was, in fact, a stranger on earth.
That’s a broken soul.
We inherently know what we mean when we talk of “a broken heart.” Do we inherently know what a broken soul is? This has to be something we address within ourselves.
Is our soul broken for the longing of God’s judgments at all times? In other words, are we living out the portion of the “Lord’s Prayer” when Yeshua pleads with God (and wants us to as well) for His Kingdom to come and His will to be done on earth as it is in Heaven?
I have a feeling our own souls will begin breaking for the longing of God’s judgments AT ALL TIMES when we get to the place where the Psalmist was in his life. He shed himself of his desires and longings for this world.
The straight reality is this …
As long as we feel at home in this world (and want this world to be our home) our souls won’t be able to break with longing for God’s judgments (His Kingdom) to come. Can I say it this way: God is longing for His people, en masse, to shed themselves of this world and focus on His coming Kingdom.
Paul gives us this sort of directive in Colossians. “If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.” (3:1).
Yeshua Himself tells us the same as well. “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” (Matthew 6:33)
I do think that something en masse is beginning to happen to God’s people. It seems to me that, at least in my little bubble of a world, more of God’s people are sensing an upward calling for God and His Kingdom. As I’ve said before … something seems to be in “the air.”
This is a good thing.
I think Paul summed it up very well as he laid out, by way of example, the longing of his soul. “I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:14)
And as the anonymous writer of Psalm 123 said: “Unto thee lift I up mine eyes, O thou that dwellest in the heavens.” May this too be the expression of our longings.
A Broken … Soul. Let’s lay our souls before God for Him to do want He wants done.